Part One available here.
Thursday 17th September
You might have thought that with
things getting really nasty on the Hungarian border, terrorism threats at the
highest level since 9/11 and an earthquake in Chile that the sections of the
media which are furiously digging for the silver bullet to defeat Corbyn might
have given it a break for a day.
Well, no such luck because the
revelation has emerged that Jeremy Corbyn once had a fling with none other than
Diane Abbott. It was the late 1970s and the pair were wild, free young
radicals. Not like now, when they are wild, free old radicals. Mr Corbyn was separated
from his first wife, and his tryst with Ms Abbott was the final nail in the
coffin of his marriage, as the amorous pair (dubbed the “dreadful duo”) went on
a motorbike holiday in exotic East Germany. So, basically all you need to do is
imagine The Motorcycle Diaries made
by Granada TV.
Whilst this is all passingly
interesting, it really is a fluff story. Unless you’re the right wing press,
who are saying that this information has come to light after Corbyn failed to
intervene in a spat after Monday’s meeting of the Parliamentary Party between Abbott
and Jess Phillips MP; the implicit accusation being that Corbyn didn’t stop
Abbott because she’s his girlfriend.
Ooooo! Jeremy and Diane, sitting
in a tree, planning the overthrow of neoliberalist economics.
The Times has taken it one stage further by publishing a concise
history of extra-marital bonking in the Labour party. The paper no doubt
published this for your better information: if you’re unsure about the new
Labour direction, just be aware that they’re all too over-sexed to know what
they’re doing.
Turns out, Labour has been the
working-class answer to Made in Chelsea.
Everyone flits from one affair to another. Even Michael Foot, who stood up for
the ability to love two women at the same time. Maybe this is what Cameron and co. meant when they said that Labour’s a
threat to your family’s security. Even now, Jeremy’s planning on popping round
to your house, making a delicious Quorn bolognaise, before dimming the lights
and asking your wife if she wants to see his unprecedented mandate.
(Sorry. I couldn’t resist.)
Friday 18th September
Focus has finally shifted from
Jeremy Corbyn, but only by one person to the left.
Last night, Shadow Chancellor
McDonnell appeared on Question Time,
which was entertaining just for watching Alex Salmond looking visibly upset
that he was no longer the most left-wing person on the panel.
McDonnell has attracted a lot of
controversy this week. He has a reputation for being a bit of a bruiser, which
on first impressions seems odd because he seems mild-mannered and speaks
softly, which is the way with the Corbyn front bench.
However, he is on record as
saying that if he could travel back in time he would assassinate Margaret
Thatcher, which he later apologised for saying it was a joke, and he is on record
as saying that IRA militants should be “honoured”.
It was the latter comment which
came under the microscope last night, when McDonnell apologised for it and
explained why he used it. He said that he was trying to give Republicans a way
of laying down arms “with some form of dignity”, and though he regretted his
choice of words, he was arguing for the peace process, but if it was worth it
if those words saved one life, and because the peace process was saved.
The direct causal link between
the demonstrably controversial words of a then Labour bankbencher (who was on
the outside looking in) and the continuation of the peace process is about as
clear as the final act of 2001: A Space
Odyssey. Furthermore, this apologetic mood for a twelve year-old comment seems
to have suddenly descended in the last week, for reasons that I am sure are
coincidental.
Nevertheless, apologise he did,
and whatever one makes of the man and his motivations, it was a compelling
human moment on television. Unless you’re The
Daily Mail, who described it as “half-hearted”.
For more examples of half-hearted apologies, may
I suggest you Google “Daily Mail” and “apologises”.
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I remember the mood around the peace process, and the IRA were adamant they had not been defeated and would lay down their arms in truce , by choice. This fits with McDonnells reasoning for his words.
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