Thursday 22nd October
International news, and we’re checking
in with the ongoing Presidential Election in the United States. And by “ongoing”,
I mean “hasn’t actually started yet – still two-and-a-half months to go until
the first primary”.
The Republicans have taken most
of the publicity because they’re current front-runners are a mannequin from a
barbershop and a surprisingly racist African American. Meanwhile, the Democrats
are being fearfully dull by sticking with the same front-runner they’ve had for
seven years.
Hillary Clinton currently leads by
26 points, and all the hope was pinned on Vice President Joe Biden entering the
race and shaking things up. Not because he’d be able to stop the inevitable,
but because he would inject some of the bat-shit craziness that has made the
GOP’s contest so watchable.
This is the man who, at a campaign
event, invited a local State Senator to stand-up. “Where are ya Chuck? Stand-up
Chuck!” he shouted, forgetting that Chuck Graham was in fact wheelchair-bound.
Also, upon being named Obama’s running mate in 2008, he made a very convincing
case as to why Hillary would have been a better VP. His announcement yesterday
that he would not be running in 2016 came as a blow to Vine account users
everywhere.
So, where will a challenge to
Hillary come from, if one does at all? Certainly not from Lincoln Chafee, who
in a poll after the recent Democratic Debate received not 1%, nor 0%. Rather,
he got “*%”. The other candidates got 99% between them. *% seems exceedingly
harsh.
The likeliest candidate is Mr
Sanders, a dishevelled maverick from the left-wing of the party whose
supporters are convinced that he’s more popular than the polls suggest because
all of their friends agree that he’s the optimistic hopeful they’ve been
waiting for, and anyone who disagrees is clearly part of a capitalist
conspiracy.
I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere before…
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