Tuesday, October 27, 2015

The North by North Westminster Diary: Jakey Cries to Nanny

Tuesday 27th October
The fallout from yesterday’s dramatic blocking of Tax Credit cuts by the House of Lords is in full swing. Gideon Osborne is wandering from news camera to news camera trying to looking like a sixth form swat who’d just been given detention, and in the manner of such smart alecs is raging at the injustice which has surely landed them in it, rather than focussing on his own lack of judgement.
But spare a thought for the no doubt exhausted Jacob Rees-Mogg, who has been speaking of this grand constitutional upheaval for a week now. At least, I think that’s what he’s saying. It sort of gets lost in a blaze of dates and names. He’s like a proto version of the Hulk. When he gets angry, he turns into a grey giant, lecturing on obscure history.
No doubt last night, he retired to home in and was greeted by his nanny bearing a mug of Ovaltine.
“I don’t understand it, nanny” he says. “Why can’t ordinary people understand the enormous violation of the privilege of the House of Commons, established in 1678? It speaks of the execrable state of our education system that the common man cannot converse on this. The sooner we carpet the provinces with Grammar Schools, the better.
“I fear the repetition of Earl Grey’s attempt to create more peers. He’s my favourite Prime Minister, Earl Grey. Such a fine name for a politician.”
“I don’t know poppet,” replies nanny. “Does this measure not attract the ire of 1702 resolution, codified as Standing Order 53?”
“Don’t be silly, nanny! Of course it doesn’t. Even a street urchin could see that. Have you been at the grog again?”
“Well I needed something to help me get through all of your speeches.”

The New North by North Westminster Podcast is available here.

Follow North by North Westminster on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NByNWestminster

No comments:

Post a Comment